I enjoy doing things the suposed "wrong way" in front of suposed "good people", like drinking in public. I'll mix a lot of brandy with a little mountain dew(known as a boogie man), go to the local book store and hang out by the magazine rack. I'll find the most politically accepted looking creature, typically sportin' a tucked in button up with shoes that would be hard to run away from the cops in and stand right behind him.
Now I won't be over obvious and breath like a fat bitch getting fuct from behind, but I will make it known that my 64 oz. am/pm fountain drink has been severly tainted. Once I know he has noticed the boo's on my breath I'll nonchalantly walk in front of him towards the 'porno' section. I'll sift through all the dirty mags slowly and intently as if I know exactly what I am looking for. By now the civilized yuppie has casually began eyeing me without making it apparent.
I then will find the dirtiest, most detailed guy on guy mag', pull it out and begin to flip through the pages with the cover facing our proud tax-paying subject. Next I will just stand there waiting with the offensively, unpleasent magazine covering my face from the nose down....allowing only my eyes to peer over awaiting for awkward eye contact. Once eye contact has been made, I'll lower the magazine and just stare as if I saw an Alice Cooper look-a-like getting fuct by a diseased three-legged donkey. Then I'll just keep staring this guy down like he's the one who killed my father until he breaks the freakishly strange point in time he unfortunetly had to share with a drunk and deranged individual he found at the book store.
Most likely he'll put the magazine back on the rack and leave without buying a thing, and for the rest of the day my eyes will be at the beginning or end of each one of this broken business man's thoughts. After it's all said and done, I'll go home.
-ShotX
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